Saturday, January 31, 2004

EXPLODING CETACEANS, ASIAN AMERICAN IDOLS (WILLIAM HUNG), AND OTHER SPINS OF FROM THE NEWS WHEEL


and you know what really sucks?
he just bought that scooter


  • A friend of mine mentioned this story to me last night and I had to find out more but in Taiwan, a dead whale exploded in the middle of a city street (see pic above!) as workers were transporting it to a research facility. Unfortunately, the heat in Southern Taiwan caused the internal gases within the whale to build up and next thing you know, BOOM, it's a shower of whale guts. As if that isn't great enough, there's this hilarious quote from the Taipei Times:
      Scores of men have visited Tainan's Sutsao Wild Life Reservation Area where professors, students and volunteers were working on the corpse of a male whale, because they were curious about the whale's genitalia. The whale's penis measures 1.6m in length and it looks like a thick water pipe. More than 100 Tainan City resi-dents, mostly men, have reportedly gone to see the corpse to "experience" the size of its penis.
    (Now, you can't bring up a new exploding whale story without mentioning the granddaddy of all exploding whale stories.)

  • William Hung mania continues. The latest is this radio interview that Star 100.7FM did with William. Not only is the American Idol rejectee down-to-earth candid, but he was such a good sport, singing Phil Colllins' "Two Worlds" for the radio DJs. Like I said before: Hung is one bad ass mo-fo. I mean - you just know he's like the greatest karaoke singer ever.

    What I like most about him is that he's utterly sincere. There's nothing pretentious about dude - he's just this super real guy. Apparently, he's getting to be a regular celeb on campus, where I'm still waiting to see my proposed t-shirt: "He Bangs!: I Hang With Hung" appear. If you haven't seen the footage of William yet, here's a Windows Media file with this audition). Peep how he takes his criticism like an adult, unlike all those weepy whiners who walked out, crying like babies, because Simon said some mean words. Hung was a straight souljah, no doubt).

  • Same friend who told me about the exploding whale story also mentioned Mr. Cranky's Movie Reviews. I'm sure he's not new to a lot of other folks but this was my first time stumbling upon him. Not every review written on the site is quite as hilarious as others, but I had a five-minute laughing/coughing fit reading their review of Kangaroo Jack. Not having seen the movie, I can't speak as to how accurate they are, but I find it hard to believe that the movie could be any funnier than the review itself - here's one of the best paragraphs from it:
      Only once my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the theater and I saw exactly which segment of America was flocking to this movie did I realize that bottom was yet to come. Near the front, a woman sat in the middle of a ring of empty seats, weeping profusely. Ten rows back sat another man, reciting the Lord's prayer with feverish intensity. In the back row, two homeless men were already well into a masturbation contest. In the front row, three kids being force-fed quality time by their weekend dad stopped licking dried soda off the armrests only long enough to start screaming in terror once "Kangaroo Jack" was finally unveiled.


  • This is such a cool story - in rural Cambodia, residents have email access through a travelling WiFi connection that rolls through on scooter five days a week. Folks are already calling it the electronic pony express. (spotted on gizmodo)

  • Speaking of cool stories, this one had me wishing it was real: "Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge" - all ya'll folks who see dumb ass hipsters who rock kanji tattooes, without knowing what the lettering actually means, know the deal. (shout out to the SJ Metro's Todd Inoue for forwarding this over)

  • This is probably old news to many of you but I just discovered Sub Pop's parody of Pitchforkmedia.Com, called Pop Dork. Nothing but comedy.

  • Speaking of Pitchforkmedia.Com though, they have one of the most entertaining and innovative ways of writing a music review I've ever seen. Scroll down and witness the full majesty of Nick Sylvester's review of Daft Punk's new Daft Club. Awesome.

  • Dan Leroy of the Cleveland Scene wrote a solid piece on why hip-hop albums never seem to come out on time (all my fellow writers holla!). I spotted that story on Clyde Smith's Hip Hop Logic blog, which is also where I discovered Hiphopnews's very useful album release schedule, though, as Leroy points out, take all those dates with some large sprinkles of salt.