MEDIA SPINS: KERRY VS. EDWARDS, COLORADO FOOTBALL SCANDAL, DECIPHERING FLOWERS, NUTS FOR TRUCKS

Kerry does his best Frankenstein impression Edwards does his best RFK impression

I don't want to be mean, but that is just a TERRIBLE photo of Kerry. Dude looks like death warmed over in the microwave for a few seconds. I think it's a Right wing conspiracy - someone made sure that CNN ran the most unflattering pic of the Demo front-runner in their story about the 2-man race for the nomination. I'm scurred just looking at it for too long.

I've been following the insanity over at the University of Colorado, off and on, but it's just getting to ridiculous proportions. Coach Gary Burnett simply has to be one of the most stupid and least media-savvy coaches in Division I today. Not only did he sound laughably unconvincing in claiming that neither his program - nor any other in the NCAA - would eever stoop to using sex or alcohol to recruit players, but his latest gaffe has been to ridicule former kicker Katie Hnida, who recently said that she was raped by a CU player while playing for the team. The school has put Burnett on administrative leave and one can only think that his firing is just moments away. When that happens, it will be far too soon. I know it probably won't go down like this, but in a more just world, Burnett shouldn't be able to find a job coaching pee-wee football. Forget that, I wouldn't let dude sit next to me at a foos ball table - what a clueless disgrace he is.

Even though Valentine's Day has already come and gone, it's not too late to understand what your floral bouqet means for your relationship. Ever wonder what a bouquet of anthuriums symbolize?

 "I'm really cheap and not sure I like you that much in this stage of our relationship."

It's hard to imagine anyone liking a flower that looks like Gene Simmon's tongue, so even when the florist proposes anthuriums ("Hey, they're red, they look like hearts - see?") a steadfast swain won't cave. A man who gives anthuriums is so on the fence about you that he's got splinters up his butt. Proper response: "I guess they ran out of roses?"(spotted at blacktable.com)

Nutsfortrucks.com. I don't even know what to say - just look:

(spotted on fimoculous.com)