SUPERBOWL SPECIAL

janet does her best lil kim impression

Ok, I know Houston is supported by NASA and what not but the re-creation of the moon landing was one of the cheesiest things I've ever, ever seen. I think NASA needs a bad dose of that Levitra stuff (look below).

Beyonce sings the "Star Spangled Banner". A nation drools.

Ford is spending a grip to promote their GT, a car that costs around a $150,000. Um...the only people who can afford your car are the folks on the playing field - not watching from home.

The NFL's ad using "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow"? Genius.

Van Helsing looks like a really bad cross between Underworld and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and we know how well both those movies went over. Memo to Hugh Jackman: Wolverine solo movie? Yes. This shit? Hell no.

Levitra gets props for taking some pot shots at baseball but I love how male impotence drug ads never actually say what they're about and can only elliptically hint at it. C'mon - just be honest...it's about flagging dicks. Embrace the limp. (At least Cialis, in the second half, were willing to go there...though one has to say...their ads were MAD corny. Maybe even worse than Viagra's).

Straight up, fu*k The Alamo, aka "where history meets racist, revionist myth."

So let me get this straight, Philip Morris can buy ad time during the Superbowl but <
Moveon.org can't? Beyond wack.

Biz Markie's "Just a Friend" for Pepsi? Yes. Joe Cuba's "Bang Bang" for Chevy? Sort of, ok. Muhammed Ali for Linux/IBM? Huh? What? Actually, Ali is everywhere - he was in "Rock the Vote", that Linux/IBM ad, archival footage in the Gillette ad, and in S.F., there's a big billboard feat. his image being used by Adidas. Is the big man hurting for money?

Pepsi leads to Jimi Hendrix picking up the guitar? F*ck that too.

Please, please, please - will someone tell Cadillac to dump that Led Zeppelin song from their commercials! I know it's probably expensive to license a Zep tune, but c'mon - give it a damn rest already and find a new jingle. Jesus!

Janet Jackson returns. A nation shrugs in indifference. Until Justin Timberlake (in one of the dumbest moves ever on national t.v.), decides to out her breast. Smart one JT - way to sell that bad boy image. Jermaine Dupri might come hunting for your pale ass now.