Wednesday, March 23, 2005

50 FACTS THAT ARE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO ACCEPT

(by Junichi)


The movie that launched a thousand gubernatorial candidates


I'm in the midst of moving and I have no TiVo and limited Internet access (Yikes!) so you'll have to forgive me for my delay in posts.

For now, here's a random list I've created: Over the last few months, I've been collecting facts or thoughts that are difficult for me to accept as true. I've done this for no good reason except to come to terms with them. My list reached fifty today and I thought I'd post it:

  1. Three cast members from the movie Predator have run for governor ... and two of them have won.

  2. As of now, I will be unemployed in July.

  3. Most of this year's high school freshmen were born in 1990.

  4. Ol' Dirty Bastard is dead.

  5. The mainstream media will never refer to violent Christian fundamentalist wing nuts as terrorists.

  6. The "oldies" channel plays music that came out when I was growing up.

  7. I lived to see a president impeached for lying about fellatio.

  8. I only started drinking coffee two years ago and I have already given Starbucks over $1000 of my money.

  9. Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen might actually be in love.

  10. Before, I was a short guy because I was an Asian American. Eventually, I will be a short guy for an Asian American.

  11. I have virtually no chance of being elected to a statewide or nationwide office.

  12. No man has ever consistently referred to me as his best friend.

  13. The Beatles are dying in the wrong order.

  14. My net worth is a negative number.

  15. In the year that Do The Right Thing was denied a Best Picture nomination, Driving Miss Daisy won the Oscar for Best Picture.

  16. Based on the average life expectancy of an American male, I have already lived one-third of my life.

  17. Jewel's "A Night Without Armor" is one of the best-selling poetry books of all time.

  18. Prisoners in New Hampshire manufacture the state license plate, which features the state motto 'Live Free or Die.'

  19. Jackie Chan's American films will never be one-tenth as good as his Asian films, which is proof that he needs a much better agent.

  20. The first black president will probably be a Republican.

  21. California might eventually become a red state.

  22. Most rock radio stations play Eminem and the Beastie Boys (but no black hip hop artists).

  23. Ben Affleck will always be "Academy Award-winner Ben Affleck."

  24. I can no longer name most of my elementary school teachers.

  25. In terms of annual salaries, Michael Jordan used to make (and perhaps still makes) more money from Nike than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

  26. Tiffany and Debbie Gibson -- two of the "clean" teen idols from the 80s -- have now both posed nude for Playboy.

  27. David Beckham bought his wife, Posh Spice, a $1.8 million diamond-encrusted vibrator.

  28. I share my birthday with at least nine million other people.

  29. The winner of the "Best New Artist" Grammy in 1961 was Bob Newhart.

  30. A 16-oz. cup of Starbucks coffee has the same amount of caffeine as 10 cans of Pepsi.

  31. I am no longer growing taller. But I keep gaining weight.

  32. Captain Kirk never literally said the phrase: "Beam me up, Scotty."

  33. My next major birthday milestone will be when I receive balloons that say "Over the Hill."

  34. My tax dollars currently contribute, directly, to the deaths of thousands of innocent people across the globe.

  35. In the U.S., one pound of potato chips costs about two hundred times more than a pound of potatoes.

  36. Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo are both dead.

  37. No black woman had ever won a Best Actress Oscar before Halle Berry in 2002.

  38. George W. Bush is a two-term president.

  39. There are more people killed each year by donkeys than by airplane crashes.

  40. Speaking of disasters, the highest grossing movie of all-time is Titanic.

  41. The #3 highest-grossing movie is Shrek 2, which is within inches of surpassing #2 - Star Wars (the original), which only barely out-grossed the #5 movie of all-time, The Phantom Menace.

  42. Swans are the only birds with penises.

  43. Vanessa Williams, the first black Miss America in 1983, probably wouldn't be a famous celebrity today if she hadn't done the lesbian-lite nude photo session that ended up in Penthouse.

  44. The word 'couture' is not pronounced the same way as 'kosher.'

  45. Montana and Washington still execute prisoners by hanging.

  46. Apparently, humans are the only mammals that normally have sex face-to-face.
  47. See comments below.

  48. Paris Hilton has a career ... with no signs of fading.

  49. Phil Collins is prominently featured in a Bone Thugs 'n Harmony video.

  50. The odds are high that I've never met you, Pop Life reader.

  51. The odds are decent that you're at least half-naked or half-baked.