THE WRITE STUFF

f--- an oreo

Damn, Jessica Hopper is killing me with all these banned words. Her latest list?

*"is proof that"
+"proves that"
-auspicious
+++Like _______ on acid
garnering attention
*+most notably
throws down the gauntlet
+atmospherics
____ bliss
-lilting
sonic nightmare
*++sonic equivalent of
*+bombastic combination
*+classic combination of
*pastiche
-vividly etched
hearkens
to surprinsing effect
+avoids the trappings
*+surprisingly ( WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME ANYTHING ON A RECORD TOUCHED OFF GENUINE SURPRISE?)
+Stuff I absolutely agree with.
-Stuff that I don't.
*Stuff I've written in a music review.

I'm secretly worried that Jessica's been reading my past work as a template of what NOT to write.

Meanwhile, Julianne Shepherd drops her own rules of wisdom:

"If you're a man, and you intend to court a woman, here is a list of things you must never do:
* tell her she dances like she is in the '90s, and expect her to believe you are not dissing her (unless you specify "'90s Fly Girl... you know, like Rosie Perez")
* tell her you don't understand why people like Justin Timberlake, or attribute it to irony
* embrace her as if you've been dating for 2 years, rather than having a first date--boundaries, people!

And here's my personal favorite: "Unreciprocated saddling of your woman with your emo probs is the new "bitch get in the kitchen and make me a pot pie." Testify, sister!

Suckas, take notes.

"According to this weekend's New York Times, the Thin Mint, that so-incredible-it-must-have-crack-in-it cookie that Girl Scouts sell, is the third-best selling cookie in the world, even though it has a sales cycle of one month."
(spotted at the blacklist)

Is Urban Outfitters pulling an Abercrombie? Checkout their new "Asian Girl" t-shirt series.
(props to Hua for sending me this)